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Literary Openings, Gadgets and News in Nigeria | Duketundesblog: SATIRE: Misplaced Ego (A picture of Nigeria's Dwindling Economy)

Sunday, 21 February 2016

SATIRE: Misplaced Ego (A picture of Nigeria's Dwindling Economy)

This satirical piece, was written by Dr. Obinna Aligwekwe, a Medical doctor, social critic and commentator. He painted the true picture of the Nigerian state in this well written medically inclined satire.

Once upon a time, in a far away land, there was this Doctor. His specialty was infectious diseases. He specialised in treating malaria, pneumonias, and any disease that could be called infectious in nature.

Then, on this bright sunny day, Nkechi, a sickle cell patient, down with fever was brought to the hospital. Laboratory tests were run, and she was confirmed to have malaria. There were numerous malaria parasites in her blood.

Nkechi had been to another hospital previously, but the labs were not functioning properly, so the diagnosis was missed. She only spent a few hours there as nothing much could be done.
Our Doctor, having now diagnosed her condition accurately, spent the first two hours cursing the hospital that missed the diagnosis.

After all the admonition to the patient never to use that hospital again, treatment commenced.

Nkechi was commenced with the strongest dose of the strongest medication, even though her sickle cell condition required that medications to be given, be cross-checked carefully for allergies and side effects.

Tests were required to monitor the malaria parasites in her blood, at least to confirm that they were reducing in number. The parasites were indeed reducing, but Nkechi was not getting better.

Her father raised up this concern with the Doctor, but was reassured that all that was needed, is to get rid of the malaria. Nurse Bisi raised concern about Nkechi's allergy status, and the fact that being sickle cell, she needed other forms of treatment. Our Doctor reminded the nurse, that she was just an auxillary nurse, and did not have the training to teach him his job.

Nurse Jamilla, another nurse called nurse Bisi into the privacy of a room, and further abused Bisi for having the impetus to ever challenge the Doctor over medical matters.

Nkechi's condition took a turn for the worse. She was no longer making urine, was in severe pain, and was not breathing properly. Nurse Bisi, afraid of her earlier encounter, simply informed our Doctor, performing her duty as a nurse. Doctor asked Nurse Bisi to repeat the test for malaria parasites, and increase her dose of anti malaria drugs. Nurse Bisi remembered Nkechi had been coughing the night before, but could not bring herself to tell the Doctor. The previous encounter had mortified her.

The test results were out. The malaria parasites had almost cleared, but Nkechi was almost comatose. Doctor was informed. Doctor declared that he was actually winning, that it was the remaining parasites that needed to be cleared before Nkechi would start taking a turn for the better. When Nurse Bisi finally found the courage, she told him about Nkechi's cough. His response; "its the malaria". He ordered that the medicines continued until the final test.

Next day, the final test was being done. The results came out two hours later. There were no malaria parasites. The Doctor was informed. He was all smiles, waving the lab report in the air. He called both Nurses Bisi and Jamilla. He was going to examine Nkechi, as he was so sure she would be better. When they arrived at her bedside, Nkechi was no longer breathing, her eyes wide open, and her body quite stiff.

The Doctor was furious. He cursed the previous hospital where Nkechi had been, blaming them for not starting the treatment on time. He cursed Nkechi's parents, for not going for pre-natal counselling. "How can two AS couples be marrying themselves in this age?", he fumed. He abused Nkechi for allowing mosquitoes to bite her.

An autopsy was done. Nkechi's malaria was successfully treated, but she died of Hospital Acquired Pneumonia, severe anaemia and dehydration.

Doctor is currently meeting with his lawyers, to defend himself in a case of criminal negligence of the economy...,sorry, patient.

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